A Little Kindness

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I had an appointment a few weeks ago with a doctor that went spectacularly badly. The doctor was impatient and awful, I was nervous and the whole thing turned into a shambles resulting in me walking out. I was mortified after, doubting whether my actions had been correct, but today I had an appointment with a different doctor for the same thing (nothing serious, I’ll be around for a while yet), and they were so incredible; patient, understanding, open to listening and willing to explain everything that I was worried about. We chatted for 40 minutes, shook hands and I left calm and confident that walking out on the last appointment was the right thing to do.
I spoke to my Dad about this, as he’s had his fair share of appointments of late, and he told me that he’d had a run of rough appointments too; impatient doctors treating him like his questions were silly. Then a few weeks ago, he went to a doctor in Cork, and was nervous about attending due to the previous bad ones. This doctor, though, patiently chatted to him about his life, put him at complete ease, and then when the examination was finished, put on my Dad’s socks and shoes before he left the surgery. My Dad was genuinely emotional at this, that the doctor treated him as an equal and took time to make sure he was comfortable.
I just wanted to share it in case anyone else is in a situation where they feel like they’re making a fuss over something that makes them feel uncomfortable. Speak out if you don’t feel ok, and if someone goes out of their way to put you at ease then tell them and thank them. We’re all human, we all get afraid, and health is a difficult thing to talk about sometimes, but never be afraid to ask for more care if you feel like you’re not getting enough. For me, thankfully, it’s not life or death, it’s just about being comfortable in an awkward situation, but for someone who’s really ill it could affect the course of their treatment. For my Dad, that really positive experience has relaxed him enormously about all future treatments and generally improved his way of coping with hospital visits.

I’m sure all doctors start off with a positive approach to patients, and I totally understand how the pressure of working in medicine could wear you down, but I just think that it’s also our duty to remain aware that if we’re not comfortable with something, we can try to go elsewhere. This post is coming from a place of positivity following on from today, and I’m now actually looking forward to future visits and getting stuff sorted, but it blows my mind that for my Dad, a doctor bending down to help him with his socks was such a rare act of kindness that it actually made him emotional. I’ll be sending a thank you card to him first thing tomorrow.

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