What my Ma thinks of Muslims

I had the loveliest conversation with my Mam yesterday; a 74-year-old devout Catholic and conservative. We started talking about Trump and the Muslim Ban and she was just horrified about the whole thing. She made the most lovely observation, that it must be so hard to stick to your faith as a Muslim woman who wears a hijab or a burqa in the West when those things make you stand out in a crowd, and that they must be very strong and proud women to keep going with it. She’d been swimming during the week, and there were two Muslim women in the pool who were covered head to toe, and the only negative thing for Mum was that they mightn’t enjoy the sauna as it would get too warm for them and she was really worried that they weren’t getting the full benefit of it.
If my Ma’s only concern about Muslims is that they’re not getting the best of their leisure club memberships, I think that the U.S. government can get their shit together and stop thinking that every Muslim is a terrorist. This is a woman who still has stories about her parents living through WWI and was born in the thick of WWII, and then witnessed the Troubles on her doorstep. She’s familiar with a terrorist threat when she sees it, it’s a pity so many of those in power aren’t, even when it comes from within their own quarters.

11 Headlines That Perfectly Illustrate How Much The Daily Mail Hates Women. Haaates Them. Eww. Christ. Imagine Being A Woman. Ugh.

Every day I do something horrible, reprehensible, disgusting and demeaning. I check the Daily Mail website. I tell myself that it’s because they have faster updates on news than any other website, even though their take on said news is usually preposterously skewed, but there are many sad, shitty nights where I’ve sat and browsed the beautifully named “Femail” section of the site, which mainly consists of women vilely slagging off other women and CAPS LOCK HEADLINES ABOUT CELLULITE. I ain’t doing it anymore. No morbid fascination for stunningly vapid journalism will drag me there. The following 11 headlines will be my strength and my shield. The Daily Mail hates many people, but these are just some of the ways in which it has shown that it really fucking hates women.

1)

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The time they made a hilarious comparison between a sex offender and a dude from Anchorman. It’s really a stunning feat as a journalist to receive information that a man has committed a sexual offence and to have “Fuck me, that guy is the IMAGE of that fella from Anchorman!” as your first reaction and then actually turn it into your story angle.

2)

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The time they warned you about your tricksy periodses. Don’t worry though love, you’re just out of your fucking mind on PMS and nothing’s actually happening at all. That’s the good news.

3)

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The time they said that maybe your periodses weren’t so tricksy after all, and that you shouldn’t dare ask your boss for anything without consulting your “menstrual diary”. I love my menstrual diary. It’s made from the womb lining I shed every month and is decorated with pubic hair.

4)

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The time they completely changed their fucking mind again. Obviously this was written by a woman off her face on her period.

5)

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The time they announced that women are manipulative, bleeding liars.

6)

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The time they told you that in order to be admirably thin, you should wear a suit that makes you “clench your entire body while waiting for the pain to subside.”

7)

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The time that their “EXCLUSIVE” story revealed the shocking fact that fat people are capable of having a good ride despite their hideous fleshiness getting in the way.

8)

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The time that the headline was missing a word and yet still managed to be completely fucking condescending. Also, I love that they used a banana muffin as the control.

9) 

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BECAUSE YOU FUCKING BULLY US INTO MADNESS ON OCCASION.

10) 

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LOL.

11)

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The time that they said that big jobs were too much for our little fanny brains to cope with and that with great power comes a higher risk of dementia.

And with that, i’m out. I love the world and its womanliness too much to be contributing clicks to articles like this that just beget even worse pieces of shit.

News just in: A rare example of justice prevailing

In 1815, a peace treaty was signed between the U.K. and Nepal, alowing the recruitment of Nepalese soldiers to the British Army. The Nepalese recruits fought, were injured and died AS British soldiers. No distinction was ever drawn until they began to ask for something back for their participation in the Falklands, Iraq and Afghanistan, to name but a few.

The British Government’s stance, until today, was that any Ghurka discharged from service before 1997 had no right to remain in the U.K. Their reasoning was that following the handover of Hong Kong (where the Ghurka Headquarters were based), only Ghurkas discharged after this date had a legitimate right to residency in the U.K. as the Ghurka Headquarters were moved following the handover.

To qualify for settlement rights if you were discharged prior to 1997, you had to have served in the U.K. for three consecutive years. It was not sufficient to have fought on the side of the U.K. abroad. So these people were in genuine warzones dying for a country that would not give them a home when they returned, often crippled.

The Guardian states that between 7,000 and 10,000 Ghurkas are expected to settle in the U.K following the success of the case. For many it is too late as they have died pending the outcome of this shambolic trial.

It must be made absolutely clear that the U.K. Home Secretary held the discretion to admit a Ghurka if they had “a chronic, long-term medical condition where treatment would significantly improve their quality of life”. I’m not a doctor but I reckon the two guys below would benefit from the odd check up and ‘flu’ jab (FYI, Joanna Lumley’s in there ‘cos her Da’ served in a Ghurka Brigade).

It doesn’t state they need a terminal illness, just a “chronic and long-term medical illness”. I’d argue that one on the basis of them having fought in wars and now being wheelchair-ridden.

Justice Blake in the High Court ruled that the Ghurkas “were treated unlawfully and the policy used to reject them was misleading”.

It’s heartening to see even one Judge level his thoughts with “normal people” but it’s shocking to see such technicolour abuse of people’s lives and loyalty by a government.